Currently....I'm addicted to
Instagram....to
Twitter (yes, I'm an official Twitter-late-bloomer).....to chocolates (damn the PMS and the exam stress!).....to online shopping (I'd still like to think that I'm aiding our ailing economy....
somewhat).....
Yes....addiction is terrible.....(even if it's addiction to exercise)
Yes....addiction ruins lives....(or mostly in my case, a total waste of time and an absolute pitfall to my non-progressive bank account)
Yes....everything should be in moderation.....
But then.....where's the fun in things when done in moderation!?!?!
Rome definitely wasn't built with moderation in mind.
Neither was the Empire State Building
.....or the Titanic, for that matter...(although we all are aware that THIS one didn't end up very well)
Moderation was one of those things that I really did NOT like, although in all honesty, I could really do with a healthy dose of.
I've always been a little extreme with my likings and my preferences (and perhaps my behaviour)......well, most of the time.
It's mostly either all or nothing mentality for me.
Of course, it almost never goes to serve me well, with such a mentality seeded and took root at the very core of my mind.
Which kinda explains why I'm freaking out so much about this whole studying for exam thing.
I'm either TOTALLY IN the study mood.....or I'm being dragged, kicking and screaming profanities, to sit in front of the books.
Not good....not good at all.
Speaking of addictions and moderation, I'm also officially addicted to Bikram Yoga.
Long story how I got around to even attending my very first Bikram session.....which I'm not very keen to elaborate.
In a nutshell...it involved a free one-week pass.....getting caught not officiating the pass (well in my defense, I knew nothing of such procedure!!!!).....and somehow getting suckered into attending my first Bikram session.
Somewhere in between....there were a lot of traffic jams....cursing and swearing....plus a lot of ventilation to whoever available, on Whatsapp.
But anyway......
Bikram yoga.........I saved you the trouble of actually Wikipedia-ing it...so click
HERE!!!
If reading Wikipedia ain't your thing.....well, Bikram yoga is a type of yoga practiced in a heated room (apparently 40 degrees Celsius....although I have my doubts) and with humidity of 40%.
Imagine an enlarged sauna room.....fully carpeted with mirrors hanging from all corners of the room.....yoga mats scattered around.....and devotees practicing in uber-skimpy outfits that somewhat better suited for a day at the pool....for 90 minutes.
There are 26 poses to be done in 2 sets each pose throughout the 90 minutes and every class is the same routine.
Click
HERE for the poses.
Sounds like pure torture...if not the heat, then the boredom of performing the same 26 poses day in day out...right?!
Well.....my first class....I almost fainted under the duress of the excessive heat and humidity.
I was sweating from every single pore on my body and my heart was beating so hard and so fast that I thought I could be suffering from a ventricular tachycardia!
(I blame the cardiovascular drift due to my body's response to the heat, causing vasodilatations at the skin in efforts to disperse heat but due to that, a severe reduction in stroke volume causing an increase in heart rate to maintain cardiac output.....see, I have been studying after all!)
At most times, I felt like I was gonna faint!!!!
But at the end of 90 minutes.....with my sweat-soaked body in corpse pose....gasping for air and trying my darnest to reel in the heart rate......something in me snapped.
(no.....I didn't suddenly go berserk or ran amok)
This feels awesome!!!!!!
I was physically and mentally challenged....and while meditating, I suddenly had a realization that for ONCE in quite a long time.....my mind was absolutely still....and I was in a state of serenity.
I didn't think about my exam.
I didn't think about my weight...(it's a female thing!)
I didn't think about all the crap that usually fills my head when I'm awake...(although sometimes I dream about crap as well.....so it's kinda becoming 24-7)
I was for ONCE....at peace.
Everything was still.
All I could hear was my heart beating furiously and my breaths.
Mind empty.
No crap....no junk....no stress.....no inner conflict.....
Time literally stood still.
I was hooked.
Since then, I'd been heading back daily.
And despite being the same 26 poses.....every session felt different.
My body reacts differently on different days to different poses.
One day I felt strong....another day I felt withered.
Everyday...different feeling....different experience.
And yesterday....while lying in a pool of my own sweat, I've decided to consciously tell myself to let go of all the toxic things in my life while meditating.
The toxic people.....
Toxic feelings.....
Toxic thoughts.....toxic emotions.....toxic behaviours.....toxic self-talk.
I realized that I've been hanging on to them for a bit too long and I'm no longer growing as a person.
So long these have been with me that they have inconspicuously incorporated themselves into my believe system and my reality.
It's time to let go....
And I know it won't be easy...but I believe that with daily meditations and positive affirmations (and some good talk over coffee and cakes with certain people....you know who YOU guys are!), I'd get there eventually!
Hmm.....it seems that this blog post started with the discussion of addiction and I realized that I'm kinda off topic.
Oh well....
I'm also currently addicted to The BodyShop shampoo and conditioner for their awesome subtle fruity fragrance!
(no...unfortunately it does not magically transform my hair into a Pantene-ad commercial)
And will shop around for skimpy yoga wear......(I'm just saying!!!!)
Later!!!