Sunday, January 31, 2010

Shoe Shopping Rocks!!

I'm post-call today....(oh praise God I survived!!!)

It was a great 24 hours of work. In fact I think I spent almost 12 hours of the 24 staring at the ceiling.
Unfortunately as I was perpetually staring....I realized that I wasn't quite sleeping.

So when 8am rolled around, I'm all ready for the run but my body wasn't that keen.
And the sun was in it's full blazing glory.
....and you guys know what a "sun-fan" I am....
So I only managed a 5km....and half the distance, I was walking in a partially zombified state.

I figured I must have fitted in pretty well, mental state wise, with everyone else in the hospital.

Anyway I came home, tired...but couldn't fall asleep.
Did toe nails to hide my black toe nail of left big toe...(a souvenir of Singapore Marathon and my Brooks Ravenna!)....contemplated on cleaning the apartment but was a tad bit lazy to bother....checked my emails.....snack on yogurt....
But mind still bouncing around like a freakin rabbit on heat.

In the end decided what I really needed to do on this extremely hot Sunday afternoon is to go SHOE SHOPPING!!!!  (and I hear the angels singing on high!)

And since Michelle is on call today (we're taking turns being guardians of the mad), Kavetha came to fill the partner-in-crime spot. And honestly, Michelle ain't that huge on sport shoe shopping anyway....

Now will let the pictures (I figured this blog needs more unnecessary snapshots of myself and the people that I willingly let into my life to entertain me....I think they are also called friends) tell the short story of our shoe shopping adventure.

* Kave picked me up in her spanking new pick-up truck!!! If I knew she was driving this bad-arse vehicle, I wouldn't have worn my running skirt. It wasn't too lady-like climbing into this car in my least not ME!

* Luckily I'm not the one with shoe-shopping on the outing agenda. Kave's up for a dressy going out shoe. After spending a fortune on 5 pairs over the holiday season, I'm OUT for dressy shoes....but goodness the shoes at this shoe was so pretty!!! Thankfully, the ones that I wanted were out of my size....(btw, it's size 38!).....I swear, I could hear my wallet and credit card sighing simultaneously in relief!

* Kave's new pair of shoes!!! So now we just need to go out more to utilize those shoes and to lower our cost-per-wear (our theory of "cheapness" in the long run...we LOVE this theory!)

* I'm all ready to try on new runners! You like my new varnish? I'm so sick of the gothic navy I was sporting for past fortnight to hide the black toe nail....which btw, it's getting a bit loose and am expecting it to fall off by next week.

* Always bring own socks. I find that some sport shops provide the thickest and most awkward looking socks for you to try your shoes with. And not exactly the most attractive way to obtain a funky fungal foot infection.....NOT ON!!! While waiting for the nice sales lady, who has no idea the difference between a stability and motion control shoe, to bring out my shoe size, I came to realize that this pair of socks was bought from Melbourne exactly one year ago!!!
Why don't I wear down my socks like I do my shoes? Hmm...perhaps I need to start washing them a bit more often than I do now....erm, you pretend you didn't read the prior statement!

* It came down to a battle of Brooks Launch and Brooks Ghost. I LOVE the Launch's colour. Definitely easy for people to spot you while running. And it's a little softer than the Ghost. The Ghost on the other hand had a more common "feminine" colour which probably blends well with everyone else's runners...and it was a little stiffer than the Launch....
But it was a lot cheaper! In fact, Ghost was the last pair in size US9 (I prefer US8.5 but they didn't carry that size in this particular shop) so it's like a 100 bucks off the usual price!!!!

Anyway....I figured this girl needs a little stiffness in her life at the moment (erm, maybe that sounded a little offensive...but it's my blog so who cares!) and since the wallet still hasn't quite recovered from it's near cardiac arrest from previous shoe shopping outings, I'd go for the Ghost!!!

* Yup.....I feel a lot happier now. Perhaps now I can finally get some shut eye!!!
And yes...I also need to get a hair cut since CNY is rolling by closer than ever!!! 
I so can't wait to take my new shoes out for a run tomorrow morning. Did I mention I'm on call working 35 hours straight tomorrow?! YOU be thankful this isn't YOUR life!

Gotta run.....after hours of contemplation, I've decided I need to clean the apartment.


Saturday, January 30, 2010

It's a SATURDAY and I'm stuck at work....

I hate working on weekends!!!

I hate that I'm working right now!!! (oh hang on....if you're reading this and YOU are from work, erm, I'm kidding about blogging this while at work...REALLY!!!)

I hate that I'm gonna be at work until tomorrow morning, precisely 8am!

I hate that I'm in Ipoh this weekend AND I can't do the long run with the running uncles on Sunday morning coz these running insomniacs start the long run at 5.30am and I would STILL be at work then!
( defense of all running insomniacs, most runners like to run early to avoid the skin cancer-inducing sun, which is a smart thing....therefore I AM smart and I AM a running insomniac as well....most days anyway)

....and I hate that I couldn't wake up this morning to run before starting work....(hey, I did say I am a running insomniac MOST DAYS!!!! Today wasn't one of them)

I had a good run (albeit a short one) after work yesterday on hospital grounds...(coz y'know, the institution is HUGE and you're like, the only other runner running here....and the students from the medical attendant program will occasional wolf-whistle at you coz you're female and probably haven't seen a girl running in shorts, like EVER.....and when I run past the forensic wards, my patients will occasional motivate me by casually mentioning that I've gained some unwanted poundage......)

......yeah, I couldn't wake up Friday morning to run as work finished late at Casualty Thursday night.

Anyway I had to run.
I needed to run.
So many useless and annoying intrusive thoughts floating around in my head that it feels like my head would explode any time soon.
I needed an outlet.
So I went for a run.

I don't quite running in the evenings if given a choice.
It's's humid.....and I'm shit tired after work.
I preferred running in the wee hours of the morning.

But since I needed to de-stress, running would be it.

I find that the thoughts never quite go away no matter what pace you're keeping while running.
But at least I can retain a thought and ruminate on it longer while running before fleeting to another idea.

Mind: ...about that issue...
Puisan: shut up...
Mind: ....but you'll have to face it eventually....
Puisan: shut up...
Mind: use running from it....
Puisan: shut up...
Mind:'re pathetic!
Puisan: you and me are you're pathetic as well!!!
Mind: ...oh YOU shut up....

No...I didn't quite solve whatever problems I associated my thoughts with.
But I felt more on-top of the issues that I was pondering over.....sort of, anyway.

Only ran a 5km yesterday.....but it was sufficient to calm my mind.

And no matter how many times I run those uphills, I still hate it!!!

Legs: ...shit no, we're running up that hill again?
Puisan: shut up....
Mind: ...yea...shut up!!!

Can't wait for 8am tomorrow!!!!


Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Could it be the SHOES?!

I came back to Ipoh after taking 2 days off (to celebrate birthday....don't ask), and since I was putting the left knee to rest, I didn't run after last Sunday.....and yes, if I needed to be reminded, I had to limp back after 3.5km during that run.

Monday did a teeny bit of swimming...(but mostly was being a bum and was chatting at the side of the pool)
And Tuesday was a rush mad to meet Deej for lunch and then some minor shopping spree...(yes yes, the shopping will END soon!!!), so I didn't actually have time to see if the left knee was being agreeable by going out for a run.

But since returning to Ipoh, normal routine was resumed which means waking up at 5.30am and attempting to get my daily run-ins before work.

So woke up at 5.30am on Wednesday (TODAY) morning....wondering if I should call it quits for the day and continue resting the left knee by returning to sleep.
But decided that I needed to burn some serious calories from all those birthday cakes I've been eating...(and when you celebrate a birthday MONTH...there's a LOT of CAKES!!!)

Rolled out of bed...washed up and just before I changed into my running gear, I hear pitter-patter of rain drops just outside my window...

Back to sleep......
Unfortunately, the mind has decided that awake IS more sleep on the agenda!!!
So at 6am....the sound of rain stopped and I trudgingly changed and drove the 2 minutes to running ground ( is THAT near!!!).

My initial plan was to run a 6km on minimum....I was running short on total time I was able to run before rushing back to shower and get ready for work.
Also I didn't want to push the left knee too much.
I still have a half marathon to race in 2 weeks time!

Also was putting my new iPod nano and my bright pink armband to its celebratory first run!!
(I bid for the nano online and got the 4th generation one in purple at a VERY good price. And since the Mac store was clearing out the armbands for the 4th gen nanos, I got my bright pink armband at an extremely satisfiable price as well!!!! I'm NOT being's for birthday!!!!)

* I didn't mean to get the armband in this attention-grabbing colour. They just didn't have any other decent hue...and the price was almost irresistible!!! 

Run was good....initially.
The weather was cool and not too humid despite it just rained.
The earlier momentary rainfall also deterred a lot of geriatric-aged exercisers from getting to Polo Ground (no other sane person at my age group wakes up this early to RUN!!) it was still rather empty when I got there.

Was thinking I'd reach my 6km aim today...but at the start of the 5th kilometer, the left knee started nagging.
So decided to complete the 5th km and go back. least it only started being a pain at the 5th km mark....rather than at the end of 1st km like on last Sunday.

I'm starting to think it's the Brooks Adrenaline GTS that I've been wearing when I'm running back home.
I run in the Ravennas in Ipoh.
I'm thinking I just need to pop out and get a new pair of runners.
And to think I swore to not go shopping in the near future.....

But don't you think running shoes are a necessity rather than a luxury?!!!!
(kinda like my monthly purchases of Runner's World magazine)
I mean...totally justifiable, right?!

* Don't IS a necessity!!!

C'mon.....I TOTALLY need a new pair of running shoes.......
What d'ya think??!!!


Sunday, January 24, 2010

Happy Birthday to ME!!! time flies!

I'm another year older today...and don't even begin to ask me how old I am!
It's a freakin taboo to ask a female after 21 years of age, how old she is.....coz y'know, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned....that soItalicrta thing.

Anyway since I'm inching ever so nearer to the big 3-0 (no...not quite there yet), I'm acquiring all sorts of physical ailments, both imagined and real.

As you know (if you've been religiously reading this blog....and if you have, gosh...don't you guys have anything better to do?!), I've been out of action from this whole running gig for almost a month after the completion of Singapore Marathon in early December 2009 due to my short stint with depression (yes, I admit...that was my bloody issue....and currently been maintaining FINE with medication).....and reigniting my running has been quite an uphill challenge.

De-training is not imagined but REAL!

I've been waking up at 5.30am almost every morning before work to get my run-ins (and for the added dose of endorphins since antidepressants aren't all that that it's cracked up to be) and despite being only able to run 5-6km pain-free, I'm still thankful I'm returning to a routine of sort.

And when I mention pain-free....that is just some days.....

Returning to running hasn't been as easy as I have envisioned it to be.
My knees are the bearer of most of the brunt.
They are both taking turns being achy and down right annoying.
(Perhaps it's the shoes....been a while since I've bought a new pair.....tempting!)

It is possible that I should have warm up sufficiently before running and throw in a stretching or two.
And perhaps run a little bit slower.
Yeah...the mind remembers that you can go at such a pace....but unfortunately, the body is unable to cope....(if only the body could be as delusional as the mind)

Today, decided to run after taking 2 days off to please the aching knees.....and while only a kilometer in, the left knee started to protest...initially the protest was bearable.....until the 3rd kilometer around the neighbourhood, I realized I was limping more than I was running.
In the end, my "birthday-run" ended up being only a mere 3.5km in distance and being injured.
Yes...just my luck.

Thankfully, I'm not one to give up that easily.
I figured that it can't get anymore worse.....(no, I don't need to know how much worse it can get!!)
I'm all set to get back into proper training...both physically and mindset wise!

My first race of the year will be the Putrajaya Night (half) Marathon.
I weaseled out of the full as I was not anywhere near prepared for that sort of distance.
Perhaps during the Energizer Marathon scheduled for late March.

Oh....did I mention before that I signed up for Hong Kong Marathon on 28th February 2010?
Guess what...I'm pulling out.
Firstly, I'm not ready for the distance.
I've not put in enough work yet.
Secondly....I'm doing Chinese New Year celebrations in Melbourne, Australia!!!

What?! I'm not being indulgent.
I'm depressed! Depress people deserve to go OS for holidays!!!
It helps with their low mood!!!
Going on OS holidays have synergistic effects with antidepressant!! Didn't you read the labels?

Yea...any excuse to get time off work to go enjoy a little bit of that shit that is called life!

Promise to blog when I'm down under....


Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Starting back again....

I've been out of action for almost a the literal sense of it.

But with settling "issues" in stride, I'm (sorta) proud to proclaim that I've started running again.

First run after the measly 6km on New Year's day.....(gosh it seemed like forever!!!)

I always brought my running gear in my car out of habit, even though have not been running much (or any!!!) lately.

Although I yearn for the feeling my feet pounding the pavement in rhythmic pattern and my heart fully contracting with each beat that seemed to be synchronized with each foot strike...and the feeling of achievement after each run (regardless how pathetic the run was...heck, each run IS an achievement...PERIOD!).....I still couldn't gather enough motivation to lace up those shoes! body knows running makes me feel FANTASTIC....but the mind is not willing to give in to that need at that moment....

But yesterday (Monday...) the mind was pliable and the idea of running after work didn't seem as dreadful as it was previously (during the peak of my "issues")......and the mind agreed with the body for a short 5km run.

I ran on hospital ground.

While changing into my running gear......I realized that the reduction in appetite (partly due to "issues" and partly due to the relative inactivity during the last month) lead to me being slightly leaner than before.
No...didn't quite morph into Kate Moss yet.....but my running-T and bra felt a looser than before....(look, something good HAS to come out of all this!!)

The run wasn't as difficult as I imagined it to be.
The first run after a lay-off was always thought to be a challenge to both the mind and the body.
The mind remembers that we can run faster...but the body (due to lay-off) couldn't cope....then the mind becomes frustrated.
But that didn't happen.

The legs start moving.....and suddenly the mind and body connects......they both remembered what it was like to be in synch.
The breathing gently gets increasingly laboured but yet comfortable and within control.
Sweat beads trickle down my face and the wind blowing through my hair.....
The body is in motion again......everything works!
Everything seemed a little brighter.....a little more hopeful.....a whole lot more possible! (yes yes, laugh at what I've just said if it seemed a little too Hallmark-card for your liking!)

Those pesky "issues" seemed so far minute....and I started wondering why did I let it take control of me the way it did.

I finished those 5km with a huge smile on my face.

And you have no idea how well I slept that night!!
In over a month.....I finally slept 5 hours straight without those annoying intermittent awakenings that take forever to fall back asleep!
Thank God!!!

This morning again, to my surprise, I was up (without needing the ever-welcoming ear-screeching sound of the alarm) at 5.30am and I'm SO eager to hit the road!!!
I ran another 5km....walked 1km...(tummy cramps are SO disruptful).

I felt great the whole day!!!!

Perhaps those pills are kicking in.....or maybe I just need to run.
But whatever it is....



I figured I'll be ready to get thrown back into ultra training by next week.
This week I'm gonna get back into a regime and gain some mileage under my belt first!!!

Yes...I know you guys really miss me!!!!


Tuesday, January 5, 2010 HAS to be better than the one we ushered out!

I know...

I've gone missing for a sufficiently long duration that one may suspect that I may have gotten run down by a car while running.

For you pessimistic lot....unfortunately for you, I'm very much alive.

However, I'm very displease to announce that my running has been suffering.

How much a pain is this suffering, you may ask.....let's just say that I've run less than 10 times in the past 3 weeks!!!

I know!! 
Preposterous, when one comes to think about it.....but I've lost the motivation for quite a while.
Actually since BEFORE the Singapore Marathon....(I think even BEFORE the Borneo Marathon!!!! Shit....that IS LONG!!!)
It has been difficult to drag myself out of bed in the mornings to run.
And suddenly out of nowhere I have a hundred and one excuses to not run after work ranging from the weather to the humidity and when I've run out of excuses, then it's hormonal related reasons!!!

Don't get me wrong.
I have not fallen out of love with running.
It's more like running and I are going through a rough patch BUT we're both very dedicated in resolving whatever issues, regardless internal or external in causation.....regardless whether it's me or running.....we're both determine to get through this together and to rekindle the love we've had with each other since the start of our "co-dependence".

Oh fine....I do know the reason why running and I are going through this rough patch in the relationship.....and I have to's TOTALLY due to ME!
Yes....same reason why I've gone missing from cyberspace and totally neglecting the blog and thus its readers....(what?! You guys are still following the blog?! guys are the BEST!)

But I'm sure our relationship will last the test of time....and time to train for the freakin ultra!!!!

Anyway due to our rocky situation at the moment, I've decided to sign up for the Putrajaya Night HALF Marathon instead of doing the full like initially planned!
Yea......we're taking it slow to get back to the "honeymoon-high" that running and I both enjoyed during our initial get-together. last run was exactly on New Year's Day evening.....
I had a lot of intrusive and totally uninvited thoughts bugging me and decided to drag my sorry arse out for a short run.
I ran 6km that day and felt grateful that, despite me gradually withdrawing from it, running has still manages to make me happy.
And that was 5 days ago.'s hoping 2010 will be a good running year and to beat previous PBs!!!!

I will...I will...I WILL forsake running.....just let me settle some issues first!!!!